Letting Men Be Men

    Boys vs. Girls. Men vs. Women. Somethings never change. We have grown up being segregated and competitive, right? Every VBS or Sunday school review game, what was written at the head of the board? "Boy vs. Girls." It seems that right from the very start our genders were pitted against each other. Boys were from Mars, while the girls were the "Stars". They had cooties while we were the "cuties". We were always receiving the "Quiet Prize", while the boys won the races. In junior high, they were the nerds and geeks, while we were the drama queens, and finally somewhere in high school we learned that we were created to coexist. Yet the sense of competitiveness has never ceased. It's found its way into our work force, church, and home. One gender battling against the other for the superior position.
     So what's the issue? Men like to be in control. Women don't like to be controlled. Super Woman doesn't like it when Super Man takes the enormous stack of books from her, or opens the door. She never wants to present a weak or helpless image. Comically, on the other hand we really do desire to be cared for and looked after. Yet we women have sent the "I don't need you" message too often, and now we look around trying to find the "real men". The ones who actually walk, talk, and dress like men. The ones whose every other word is not "like" and "seriously". So for those of us who scream in frustration "Where are the Men?", maybe it's time to realize that they are where we have put them....under our "stilettos".  We wanted the "touchy more understanding" type of guy...well you got 'em sister. Girls, if you could just "tune in" your antennas to the "Man Frequency" , you'd hear the message loud and clear- "Just Let Men Be Men, and Boys Be Boys". If you want a "real man" then LET HIM be a "real man". Men hate being a "wimp", but isn't that what we have made them.
     "Making a Wimp" is an easy three-step program we daily use to keep the men in our lives under our thumbs. It's as easy as 1-2-3:
 
     1. Do all the talking.
 Most men won't interrupt a woman on a tirad. "Why bother? She already has her mind made up with the way she wants something done, and nothing short of a natural disaster is going to stop her from getting her way."
     2. Point out his failures.
We are really good at this. Tell him how he should have completed the project or organized an activity better. Point out every flaw in his thinking or character. Even better--  go tell your girlfriends how incompetent he is.
     3. Don't pray for him.

Let his heart, soul, and feelings guide him. Tell him that he's got all he needs to succeed inside. Sound familiar?  
    Now before you write this off as bash the "free woman and weak men" article, I want you to use common sense. Statistics will dictate that the majority of women feel more successful and secure in their responsibilities when they feel a competent man is in the lead. So think about your youth group, activity planning committee. work support group, or home. Are you content that this group is working at its full potential to impact and succeed? Who is more vocal in your group -- the men or the women? I am NOT negating women's ideas or intuition. Only that maybe the men won't lead because they don't believe it's worth the embarrassment of not succeeding in your eyes. Men are warriors, but only if they believe the cause is worth the struggle. They discern and choose their battles wisely. Often instead of supporting their "quests" with the armor of "respect" we send them off already limping from our tongue lashings and doubt. Elizabeth Elliot,a strong supporter of the men in her life, put it this way.
  "The world cries for men who are strong-- strong in conviction, stong to lead, to stand, to suffer. I pray that you will be that kind of man-- glad that God made you a man, glad to shoulder the burden of manliness in a time when to do so will often bring contempt."
    Behind the strongest man is a woman that believes in him and prays for him. The "Building a Man of Honor" three-step program is just as easy to follow:

     1. Let him lead.
Give suggestions instead of demanding. Close your mouth, and open your ears. Think before you shred.
     2. Respect him.
Support his final decisions to his face and behind his back.
     3. Pray for him.

You CAN'T fix him. He doesn't pretend to be perfect. He wants to make decisions wisely. Pray for God to guide him in his discernment. Pray for him to know when to stand firm on positions and when to listen to the ideas of others.

Romans 12:10 "Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;"
    
In other words, think of others. be kind. treat others how you would want to be treated, and just let your men be the men that God has created them to be.